April 6, 2010

camera less

today i went out as usual for a walk to take photos

i saw a beautiful butterfly on a flower and focused,

set my light meter and snapped

i was shocked to see a complete white screen.

my light meter is broken.

this is the 2nd camera in the last month that has broken

i tried again

and

again

and 

again

i tried it on auto,

to no avail

i went through my day looking relatively normal

but inside i was heartbroken

i kept seeing photos i'd like to take but to no avail

my heart would go numb just thinking about it

there isn't any place on the island that can fix camera's

it is like i have been put on a planet without oxygen

i can't seem to function properly.

it sounds melodramatic but it's true.

sigh.

my daughter has offered to let me use her camera

my dear friend laura told me to come by for her pentax

i am nervous to use anyone's camera since i seem to be

bent on breaking them lately.

is it a coincidence?

or is there some lesson for me to learn?

i am not sure.

i do understand that tropics are hard on cameras

with all the humidity, moisture and sea salt

so how did i take this photo?

i set the shutter speed as high as it would go,

and the f stop at 8

i couldn't even see the flower in the photo

but i got this.

this is sooc.

it's kinda cool

but i don't want all my photos to be like this.

i don't really have the money to buy another one

right now

so i am hobbling along take 'arty photos'

with my broken camera.

i keep thinking

what does it matter really?

i could just stop the 365 

life goes on without a camera

and yet

it is more then just taking a photo

photography defines me

i seem to see the world through a lens

so i will not stop.

i will not.

i will somehow carry on.

taking them somehow

and posting them when i can.

when i look at the struggles that many of my honduran

neighbors face:

no job, no food, no money for medical emergencies

i think this is a small problem in comparison.

i thank God for the ability to see it for what it is

i am trusting Him to continue to bless me with 

the ability to see

the beauty He makes and to capture it for the glory of His name.