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Wednesday, April 7, 2010

April 6, 2010

camera less

today i went out as usual for a walk to take photos
i saw a beautiful butterfly on a flower and focused,
set my light meter and snapped
i was shocked to see a complete white screen.

my light meter is broken.
this is the 2nd camera in the last month that has broken
i tried again
and
again
and 
again
i tried it on auto,

to no avail
i went through my day looking relatively normal
but inside i was heartbroken
i kept seeing photos i'd like to take but to no avail
my heart would go numb just thinking about it
there isn't any place on the island that can fix camera's

it is like i have been put on a planet without oxygen
i can't seem to function properly.
it sounds melodramatic but it's true.

sigh.
my daughter has offered to let me use her camera
my dear friend laura told me to come by for her pentax

i am nervous to use anyone's camera since i seem to be
bent on breaking them lately.
is it a coincidence?
or is there some lesson for me to learn?
i am not sure.
i do understand that tropics are hard on cameras
with all the humidity, moisture and sea salt

so how did i take this photo?
i set the shutter speed as high as it would go,
and the f stop at 8
i couldn't even see the flower in the photo
but i got this.

this is sooc.
it's kinda cool
but i don't want all my photos to be like this.

i don't really have the money to buy another one
right now
so i am hobbling along take 'arty photos'
with my broken camera.

i keep thinking
what does it matter really?
i could just stop the 365 
life goes on without a camera
and yet
it is more then just taking a photo
photography defines me
i seem to see the world through a lens
so i will not stop.
i will not.
i will somehow carry on.
taking them somehow
and posting them when i can.

when i look at the struggles that many of my honduran
neighbors face:
no job, no food, no money for medical emergencies
i think this is a small problem in comparison.

i thank God for the ability to see it for what it is
i am trusting Him to continue to bless me with 
the ability to see
the beauty He makes and to capture it for the glory of His name.

5 comments:

  1. This really is quite lovely...like a tapestry. He does continue to bless you!

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  2. That sucks Debi! I have a Pentax K200D, and part of why I chose it was for the number of weather seals it has, since the first time I was going to use it was in Iceland and I knew I would have rain, snow, mist etc to deal with. It's been pretty durable thus far.
    I hope you are able to get your camera fixed quickly.

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  3. having spent 2 vacations with you and Bob I know how important your photography is to you. I wish I could do something to help you.

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  4. I know how frustrating it must be Debi - like a limb has been cut off. No matter how rational you approach the situation it still leaves you with a great sense of loss. Seeing life thru the eye of a camera is such a part of who you are.
    Things will work out, just have patience.

    ReplyDelete
  5. p.s. I do love this picture - looks like a tapestry

    ReplyDelete