August 20, 2010

utility

"The quality or condition of being useful; usefulness"

i don't know about you

but when i was matt's age i didn't

really have a sense of what i was going to do

there was pressure to go to university

or collage

or get a job.

it is hard to know what

we are supposed to do

but the longer i live

the more simple it is to me

"do to other's as you would have them do to you"
it isn't called the Golden Rule for nothing!
:-)

whatever we do we need to have a posture of 

thinking of others more highly then ourselves.

that is my desire for all my kids

that no matter what they do

they would be useful to God

there is no higher calling 

or more satisfying way to live.

yesterday we had to say goodbye to them

did my heart almost break?

almost

but

do i believe there is One who takes care of them

better then I?

i do.

do i believe He will fulfill His purposes in their lives?

i do.

August 19, 2010

its a beautiful thing

before we went to the movies we

decided to go to harvey's.

i am not a fast food, burger kind of person

but as you can see the rest of the 'crew'

were happy as clams!

it is sooo good to be together

being happy at harvey's,

right now mattie is playing a kid's guitar

that he tuned and it sounds wonderful

i am going to miss them sooo much!!

we have one more day here

it will be a running around getting last minute things

packing (yuk)

and of course,

the traditional cowan friday night pizza together.

we fly out early early on saturday morning

have to be at the airport at 5:30.

going to miss the kids but the

island is calling my name

i can hear it.

i can.

August 18, 2010

family in film

today i sorted through photos that we had taken

over the years

putting them in piles

remembering

reminsicing

sighing

laughing

crying

so precious

basically sorted them into

general family,

friends

then a pile for each of us

individually

emily, bless her heart is going to put them

in albums

i would LOVE to scan some of them

but we don't have a scanner there

so many wonderful memories

i am thankful for my family tonight

i am a blessed woman

August 17, 2010

disheveled

as soon as i saw this daisy in my viewfinder

i thought

disheveled

i am not sure if that is a word or not

but here is my definition

unkept

unruly

disorderly

disheveled

i think many of us are disheveled under a guise

of orderliness or beauty

our clothes look good,

hair is straightened and combed

face washed

but inside?

a little disheveled

i know i am right now

we have moved 4 times in 3 weeks of being in

nova scotia

i am starting to become undone

it isn't easy to live out of a suitcase that is for sure

there is that delicate balance between

longing for home

and making the most of everyday here

visiting with the kids

and friends

there is also a delicate balance

between the outside being unorderly..

undone, unkept

and yet the inside

still being at peace

oh yeah

that is what i want:

p.e.a.c.e

within

so if you see me and you think

that debi has worn that same top for

the past 3 times i have seen her

it's called

no laundry done!

i may seem desheveled

but i am well groomed inside.

I can thank God for that!

August 16, 2010

remembering roatan

i gave this shell to kathryne and paul

 when they visited us in roatan

now here in canada, in their home,

i was drawn to it like a moth to a flame

~~home~~

we are flying back on saturday

this week will be interesting since we have no car

i realized when we came here tonight

 that we didn't get any groceries

ummm... oops

manana!

i have a new appreciation for people who need to rely on buses

or friends to take them places

we tried to rent a car but they are booked

crazy eh?

oh well.

today i woke up with an upset stomach

and it lasted most of the day

so i lounged around reading my book

resting, and

staying hydrated through it all

i feel better tonight

i am thankful for that

bob and matt went swimming at cole harbour place

it was good for them

so tonight we are getting acclimated in yet

another new place

i am grateful that they are allowing us to stay here

while they are in cape breton

but i will be honest

i am longing for our own bed

my own cupboards

our home.

yes.

remembering roatan tonight

August 15, 2010

 

♥ rock

i gave this heart shaped rock to marsha

years ago

when i first met her she had a  bowl carved out of stone on her coffee table filled with

rocks of many different shapes, colors and sizes

i knew i had found a kindred spirit on that day!!

the verse on the rock was handwritten by me

it says

He will quiet you with His love

Zeph. 3:17

oh my goodness how beautiful is that?

why does His love quiet us?

because no matter what is happening,

what people are saying, 

or not saying,

whether we are succeeding

or failing

whether we have our heads up high

or are weighed down,

whether we see the silver lining

or only a dark cloud

the knowledge of His love

constant and unending

is quieting to the soul.

no matter what

nothing can separate us from His love

 

For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, 

nor angels nor principalities nor powers,

nor things present nor things to come,

nor height nor depth,

nor any other created thing, 

shall be able to separate us from the love of God

which is in 

Christ Jesus our Lord.

(Romans 8:38-39)

i don't know about you but that is 

ridiculously comforting

it quiets me

it soothes me

it takes the pressure off me

no matter what i am loved

no matter what you are loved.

hallelujah

♥

today we spent the day with ken and trish 

and it was sooooo beautiful and rich

we talked, we laughed, we cried,

we share our stories in a real and honest ways

we played cards

we ate together

we sang together

such sweet harmonies....

it will be a day that i will remember

for many days to come

love was there

He was there.

♥

 

August 14, 2010

defying gravity

today bob and i went to halifax to see

the buskers

street performers are amazing!

it was a great day together

we took the bus, then the ferry,

wandered around

ate junk food and slushees

and loved just being together

bob watching the show

it was a beautiful sunny day
in a large crowd i still find my eyes finding him.
still loving after 28 years...
xo

this guy was a very enthusiastic
fire juggler!!

beautiful girl

....beautiful day....

August 13, 2010

leaving your mark

ever do that?

scratch your name on a park bench

or a tree

or a fire hydrant??

i wonder who colin galloway is??
you can see his name scratched in at the top of the hydrant.

i wonder what he'd think if he knew i was writing

about him

i checked to see if there was a colin galloway living here

there is one in lunenburg.

can you imagine if it was that simple to leave our

mark by just etching our name on some

inanimate object?

but it takes more then that doesn't it?

it takes a kind heart to leave a mark

and loving consistency

and an other focus

and a listening ear

and integrity in all things

it is these things that will remain

faith hope and love

these will remain 

but the greatest of these is love.

when we really consider others

more highly then ourselves there is an 

etching that takes place

deep deep inside

it is invisible to the human eye

but to the divine it is there

etched on the heart of those we love

it says..

love was here.

or debi was here

or   (insert your name)

 was here

love leaves a mark

always

always 

always

more love

i need

Lord

more love

August 12, 2010

itsy bitsy

today we helped emily move to halifax

and on one of my trips lugging things to the car

i noticed this itsy bitsy spider

and put all work efforts on hold

isn't it great how that happens?

i love interruptions... i do.

some people hate them

but being a person who is usually sidetracked on some level

i enjoy the 'change'

oh a spider!

:-)

for the record i don't like spiders

but i liked the bokeh in the background
that silly spider just got in the way!

 i am enjoying my "new to me" camera

well i better go

we are heading to the library now

did you know how much i love libraries??

when i was young and traveled the country

hither and yon

i always found the library in any city or town

it was one of the first places i'd go.

they are dry

warm

cozy

have napping potential

and of course lots of books and lots of quiet.

i am glad that emily loves to read.

i read to my kids incessantly when they were little

so i love to see them still devouring books

what is the last book you read?

August 11, 2010

sunny and cloudy

i love when the sun bursts out

during a dark, grey day

makes everything look so wonderful 

and bright

i thought we'd get a big storm today but no

some of you know my canon rebel broke

while in roatan

i brought it with me to canada to get it fixed

it turned out that the circuit board needed to be replaced

and that meant it would cost me 25.00 less then what 

i originally paid for it.

um... 

no thanks

so i went online to find another camera

tell me what is the chances of finding the exact same

older model for the same price 2 years later?

rather slim

since my camera is an older model

that i have gotten quite attached to

i managed to take off a 100.00 from his

price

and then he threw in the 50 mm for an extra 50.00

so 

happy

yes!!

love hiding behind that lens

even weeds look better

taken with the rebel

August 10, 2010

got skillz

this is our mattie boy playing b-ball

out in the  yard

he used to play for hours

practicing with his friends

dunk shots, dribbling, practicing skills.

well he has still got it

did my heart good to see him out there!

a good afternoon.

simple things

small changes

happy times

i spent the afternoon reading old journals

bob has wanted me to publish the 

'inspiration parts'

and i have resisted

.. yes me!....

but today i thought

man, the guy is right.

so i am in the process of scanning the good parts

and hopefully will put it in book form while back

in roatan.

August 9, 2010

remembering mom

today is my mom's birthday,

even though she died 5 years ago

i still remember her,

miss her,

wish she was here

so today when i went to martinique beach

with my friend karen,

i brought this photo along to the sea

 i took this photo  of her back in 1980

and chose to make her my 365 photo for today.

for those of you who have lost parents,

or a spouse,

or a child,

or a friend

you know that days like today are difficult

to navigate

but yet it seemed normal for me to

honour her in this way

i am sure that the ladies on the beach who were watching me

put a photograph on a pile of stones

(in an attempt to keep the photo dry from the rushing waves)

and then squat down,

adjust it,

try again,

and again 

til i got the one i wanted.

i don't care.

it says

mom

you matter to me

even when you are gone you can still

so beautifully and so easily capture my thoughts

 and i don't care if people think

i am nuts.

i am not

i am remembering

and i always will.

missing you still mom.

always.

August 8, 2010

three

i found myself thinking of things
that come in threes...
like

sun, moon, stars
melody, harmony, rhythm
bacon, lettuce, tomato
red, white, blue
(for my american friends!)
tom, dick, harry
body, soul, spirit

on a more personal note:
faith, hope, love
david, emily, matthew
Father, Son, Spirit


Micah 6:8 also has a great
threesome:

He has showed you, O man, what is good.
       And what does the LORD require of you?
       To act justly 

        and to love mercy
       and to walk humbly with your God.

just some thoughts on three...

speaking of three..

we have been here in canada for 3 weeks

bob had originally planned on leaving yesterday

but things are still up in the air with the kids
both of them are looking for work and emily needs a place to stay

 we don't feel right about leaving yet.

although we are going to have to go sometime soon.

we were hoping that would be settled before we head home.

yeah.. home.

last night a thought occurred to me:

roatan is home.

it is.

 

August 7, 2010

so true

sometimes you see a message

in the most unlikely places

i was stuck in traffic in halifax

and saw this on the side of an old wooden home

and thought

so true

isn't that often the case?

we wish someone was with us

when i am in roatan i wish my family and friends

were there

when i am in canada i wish my friends from roatan

were here

crazy huh?

well today i looked over at our son

who was smiling  and brighter in his heart

then he has been in a while

and i thought

this

i 

am

glad 

he 

is

here

and i looked in the rear view mirror

at our daughter 

with her snazzy new haircut

and dancing eyes

and thought

i 

am

glad 

she 

is 

here

so what is the point?

make the most of those you are with
where they are is where you are
don't wish
just be

okay?

okay

August 6, 2010

queen ann's lace

i don't remember there being fields and fields

of queen ann's lace here in nova scotia

but it is everywhere!

i love it

i went for a walk once we got home

around the property and i was struck by the color

in the background of the late afternoon sun

i forgot my camera earlier or i would have taken

photos of matt and emily standing in the lake at 

birch cove freezing,

or the rowers rowing frantically to the finish line,

or a wet dog dripping by the shore,

or the light sparkling on the water

but it is all a memory

of a lovely summer day here

it was actually hot.

so nice

August 5, 2010

you got mail

i saw this when i went for a walk yesterday

but i didn't have my camera so i went

back today

i can't help but wonder how long that mail

has been sitting in that rusted mailbox?!

i'd guess years...

talk about leaving things undone....

wow.

 

the place does look a little abandoned doesn't it?

i mean why else would the mail be there

for so long 

and the mailbox rusted right out?!!

you know you are in a rural area when you see 

things like that.

August 4, 2010

love

this is a sea smoothed rock covered

in felt

made by 

amy marshall

how beautiful

love

 love 

love

love love love love love

love love love love love

 love 

 love 

 love 

love

love

love

if we think it is easy to love

or that love can be bought

we kid ourselves

true love is a sacrifice

and a self less act

it sometimes hurts

when christ died on the cross it cost him everything

it was brutal to love us in that way

but He was willing

the kind of love that we are giving to our son right

now costs us

it hurts

it isn't easy

it aches and cries

but we are indebted to remain by his side no matter

what he faces, no matter what he goes through.

that kind of commitment.

dedication, compassion and

unconditional love is

straight from heaven i believe.

love oozes from Him

and when we are broken enough and open enough to seeps in

to us.

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law.

Roman 13:8

i am grateful in a tired sort of way for the love that keeps 

me hoping and believing through each day.

August 3, 2010

cole harbour

this is the view from our friend's window

i woke up early this morning 

and the light was lovely on the water

it was like glass

it looks like a tiny pond from where i took it

but it is really part of the sea

you just can't see the sea from where i am

made me think that is how it is for us 

sometimes

we feel like a small part,

a pond,

a little insignificant person

when in reality 

we are part of a greater force

a kingdom of light

unseen by most

but very grandoise and real

August 2, 2010

standing through it all

i took these while waiting for mattie

at the penhorn mall bus stop.

our phone was dead so we couldn't let him know where we were

so we were waiting for quite awhile til we finally

figured to go use the payphone!  

what a novel idea...

:-)

anyways,

waiting is always easier with a camera in hand

time passes so sweetly when i have my camera

i can be in a doctor's office, a government building,

outside at a garage

wherever i am waiting it is easier

because no matter where i am

i seem to be be able to find the beauty of the place

i have a thing for clover

the whole field by the bus stop was a mess of clover

as a kid i would roll in it

i was pretty tempted to do the 'roll'

but i didn't

:-)

we have been under some stress lately 

Mattie is going through a rough time

we are glad we are here for him but

that stuff is the hardest as a parent to navigate

because we love them so much and hate to see them

hurt or suffer in any way

but pain is a part of life if we are real and honest

i remember once years ago realizing that

He is in the middle of my pain

it was a simple but revolutionary thought that changed me forever

we tend to try to be good, good, good 

and when we aren't good, good, good we pretend we are 

instead of admitting to God and finding Him right there in the middle of 

all that bad, bad, bad.

see the photo with the yellow flower?

you may think that is pretty but it is way more then that for me

the one standing up tall is symbolic of what i want my life to be like

there are always situations 

people

pain

that threatens to bring us down

but i want to remain standing

believing through it all.

i find comfort in this verse:

"A bruised reed He will not break

And a dimly burning wick He will not extinguish; 

He will faithfully bring forth justice."

Isaiah 42:3 

no matter what you are going through to today

good, good, good...

or bad, bad, bad...

know that you won't break under it,

but be able to stand

because He is in the middle of it..

He is.

August 1, 2010

dinner out

today after we got matt set up in his new place 

we headed to west chezzacook to dan and shirley's

for dinner

it was a wonderful time of catching up,

sharing a fantastic meal outdoors,

then the guys playing guitar together.

we have spent many a night singing together

with dan and shirley

it was like ol' times again

i am amazed at how musicians can just

jam together!

i can sing but i can't play an instrument

dan is an amazing musician and song writer.

he is one of the few who remembers the lyrics 

of those difficult songs that most of us only

know the chorus to.

matt played along so well,

picking and filling in the spaces so creatively and wonderfully

amazing...

i am blessed to be surrounded by musicians